I just want to know if this is going somewhere. That’s all.
7 weeks is a long time
Although I’m scared of so many things right now- hospital, finding out the person I literally despise the most has started hanging out at the same places as me- things seem pretty good. Just one more thing would make it pretty perfect. Yeah that.
I feel fucking stupid most of the time. I want someone to want me.
Looks like I have to go to my hospital appointment alone. I thought things had changed.
Don’t think I’ve ever put myself out for someone this much before. It scares me.
Wow this week. I feel like I haven’t stopped. It’s literally been life changing. Still finding it hard to comprehend the fact that I actually moved out of my dad’s and into my mum’s house. After everything we’ve ever been through as a family I never saw this coming. I guess doing everything for something and getting nothing back gets pretty tedious in the end. Thinking about it just pisses me off. Especially in comparison to all the things my mum has already done for me, like letting me move in at such short notice, sorting everything out for me and now looking to move to a bigger house so that I can have a proper room and stuff. It shocks me. Is this what having a proper parent is like? Ha. Literally so thankful that I did this though. One of the best decisions ever. But I could never have made it on my own. Or even of had the idea on my own. Or physically move on my own. Like wow. How can someone be so nice to help me so much. It’s crazy. Don’t even think they realise how much they’ve helped me either. I’m so helpless on my own, I’d rather just grin and bear it than potentially cause conflict. But it was all fine. Now I can live happily away from all the shit that was just stressing me out and making me feel sick on a daily basis no more feeling on edge in my own house.